Dark Moments in Music History
A friend sent this to me and I could not help but laugh and laugh. These are 2 parts; 12 in each part.
The Top 12 Dark Moments in Music History
(Part I)
12> November 3, 1987: Knowing how much her kids loved “Star
Wars,” a naive Tipper Gore rushes home with a newly-bought
“Luke Skywalker and 2-Live Crew” CD.
11> August 16, 1969: At a party for her 11th birthday, Madonna
Louise Ciccone is strangely unfazed when Vinny Martello
stuffs two ice cream cones down the front of her dress.
10> July 18, 1966: “Let’s let Ringo sing one. No harm in that,
is there?”
9> September 22, 1968: Baffled by audiences’ lack of enthusiasm
about a deaf, dumb and blind shuffleboard champ, Pete
Townshend heads dejectedly down to the corner pub.
8> June 3, 1958: In an attempt to impress his piano teacher,
young Barry Manilow changes keys in the middle of his
rendition of “Heart & Soul” — three times.
7> September 2, 1997: Lou Bega finishes “Mambo #4,” decides his
symphony needs one more movement.
6> May 4, 1956: In Toronto, Neil Young’s tonsillectomy causes no
damage to his larynx, thereby not robbing him of his voice.
5> August 12, 1986: “Congratulations Mr. Hanson — it’s another
boy!”
4> July 29, 1974: “Soup or sandwich today, Ms. Cass?”
3> November 8, 1980: Mark David Chapman can’t quite scrounge
up $50 for shooting lessons. A month later, his attempted
assassination of Yoko Ono goes horribly awry.
2> September 6, 1977: Due to a misprint on his high school
schedule, Kenny G. attends “Sax Education” class.
and the Number 1 Dark Moment in Music History…
1> March 30, 1968: An alien craft leaves a baby on the doorstep
of the Dion farm just outside of Montreal, Canada.
The Top 12 Dark Moments in Music History
(Part II)
12> July 16, 1993: Shaquille O’Neal skips free-throw drills to
record his first rap album.
11> October 1, 1978: Michael Jackson takes in “Peter Pan” on
Broadway and thinks how cool it would be to look more
like Sandy Duncan.
10> January 6, 1995: Art Garfunkel gets three fewer hits than
David Crosby on eBay when “celebrity musician sperm” is
entered in the search box.
9> August 15, 1953: Future songwriter Jimmy Webb forgets his
slice of birthday cake outside. Moments later, it begins
to rain.
8> June 7, 1966: “Hey, chaps, I’d like you to meet my new
girlfriend, Yoko.”
7> July 23, 1956: Colonel Tom Parker says to Elvis, “Boy, you’re
nothin’ but skin and bones. You better put on some weight,
or people are gonna think you’re sick!”
6> October 31, 1975: At a costume party in Greenwich Village,
a soldier, an Indian, a biker, a construction worker, a cop
and a cowboy all decide, “This is too much fun to do just
once a year!”
5> November 17, 1984: “Don’t worry, Mr. Dylan, the novocaine
will wear off *LONG* before your recording session.”
4> September 8, 1949: In Bavaria, Richard Strauss dies.
September 8, 1949: In Greece, Milos Muzak is born.
3> May 21, 1971: In a meat-deprivation-fueled stupor, Paul
McCartney tells Linda: “Hey, Luv, why don’t *you* play in
the band?”
2> Sept. 17, 1955: Young Michael Jagger gets his lips caught
in a Coke bottle for several hours.
and the Number 1 Dark Moment in Music History…
1> February 16, 1955: After 15 minutes of sitting in a boat
listening to “Go Back Home, You Obnoxious Little Foreign
Brats!”, humorless Disneyland execs decide to look for
another composer for their new attraction.
